Nothing Prepares You

My little cheesehead

So, as someone who works with people with disabilities and as someone who has witnessed MANY things from working in hospitals, I have to say that when something is happening to Nora, my brain turns to mashed potatoes. At least that's what it feels like sometimes.

Last night, is one I hope gets filed away in my memory soon, retrievable when necessary, but for the most part tucked away in my subconscious. A week ago, Nora received her 15 month vaccinations. We were told to expect a fever in a week or so, possibly, as a side effect. She has also had a runny nose (clear) for the past several days. Sure enough, she felt warm to me yesterday after her morning nap and her temperature had spiked to 103.1 by the afternoon. I gave her Motrin and by 5:00 her temp was back down to 99.1. I have to say, as a newborn and infant, I would be beside myself if she developed a fever. I have just recently started to relax about this, and have come to accept a fever as not being such a bad thing after all. Everything you read in the baby books explains that a fever is necessary and sometimes good, indicating that the body's immune system is launching an attack. So yesterday, when I watched the thermometer rise, I just shrugged it off and gave her Motrin because she was a little fussy. No big deal... until that evening.

I left to work out and Murphey fed her dinner, bathed her (as well as doing all the dishes, feeding the animals, AND picking up all her toys!!) and put her to bed at 7:30'ish, her normal bedtime. I got home from working out, made our dinner, ate, and then was hanging out in the kitchen when I heard her over the monitor. She was making rhythmic vocalizations and at first I thought she was dreaming, but then a split-second after I thought that, I knew she was having a seizure. I booked it up the stairs and into her bedroom and got her out of her crib, and sure enough, she was convulsing, eyes open and making small gaspy gurgling sounds. That and she was BURNING UP. She was so hot, and in the throws of a febrile seizure. I screamed for Murphey, and told him to call 911. Thankfully, the seizure lasted only a minute and a half, but I was so completely terrified for every second of it, and it was so hard for me to see her in that state. It took her about 10-15 minutes to begin to come out of it. My rambunctious little girl just laid limp in my arms the entire time. Eyes open, but not really focusing or tracking, and quiet, unable to even whimper.

The firefighters that showed up were great, but unfortunately, the EMT/Ambulance crew were idiots. Our city does not have it's own ambulance service, instead it contracts with a private ambulance company. They got lost in our subdivision and couldn't find our house, they were pumping the HEAT in the ambulance, and I had to ask them 3 times to make it cooler, and I still don't think they understood that you want to cool a child with a 103 + fever, not continue to bake her. I was so happy when we finally pulled up to the hospital, which, fortunately is only a 5-7 minute drive away. After cooling in only a diaper for 30 minutes, ( how long it had been by the time we got to the hospital) her temperature upon arrival at the hospital was 103.1. I shudder to imagine what it was when she was bundled in her pj's and seizing. They immediately gave her the max dosage of Tylenol and Motrin, and catheterized her to check for a UTI, to explain the fever. Her ears, throat and urine all looked good, so we're chalking all this up to a viral infection.

I am finding comfort in the fact that I had a seizure (non-febrile) when I was 6 years old, and I remember nothing of it and am doing fine now. Back in February when we had our first scare with her, I kept telling myself that it wouldn't be the end of the world if she had epilepsy, and that many children outgrow it, like I did, like my brother did. Febrile seizures are quite common, happening in 1 out of every 25 children, and they are not typically known to cause lasting damage or delays in children that have them. Unfortunately though, if a child has one, it is likely that they may have another, so from now on when she has a fever, I'm going to be watching her like a hawk. When stuff like this happens, I am reminded that there are always people out there who are dealing with so much more. Families with children who have severe disabilities, (including epilepsy), families with chronically ill children. I have always been compassionate and empathetic towards these situations, but once you have a child, it's like your heart doubles in size, and, is therefore able to feel twice the pain it did previously. I am just grateful for Nora's excellent health and for every second I get to spend with her.

Today she was much better, a little fussy here and there, but up to her same old tricks. Her fever kept sneaking up, so I gave her Motrin and Tylenol throughout the day, and we'll do the same throughout the night. Murphey and Charlotte have been Godsends, from entertaining her at the hospital last night to making us dinner this evening. They got it right down to the very smallest and jelly-belliest detail. The chicken parmesan and vino truly hit the spot. Juiciest, tenderest chicken parm I've ever tasted.

I know this has been much harder on me and Murphey than Nora, and that too is very comforting. I am starting to notice a pattern with her getting sick/going to the ER, and travelling. Hmmm... not good! I hope she shakes this bug soon and we're good for our trip next week to Virginia.